Navigating Difficult Conversations
Throughout life, there will be times where we need to have difficult situations with others.
It might be a conversation about setting boundaries, negotiting a salary, providing feedback that isn’t very positive or sharing some bad news. These are only a few of a world of examples but whatever the difficult conversation, in the back of our minds we are nervous.
We are just a little bit worried about how this might come across.
We all have strong opinions, and when we approach difficult conversations it is important to consider the fragility of the topic. As initiators we must understand how to navigate these conversations without making individuals feel worse by the end.
Imagine someone starts a conversation with you, you don’t know what it’s about but you have agreed to share some of your time with this individual only to be annoyed by the end of it.
You don’t want to make anyone feel like this do you?
Some of us are gifted in the art of conversation, some of us naturally enable people to open up and by doing this, we get a lot more out of others.
And for some of us it might be very difficult, some of us will need to mentally prepare ahead of the conversation to make sure it goes well for everyone. And that’s okay.
So how do we do this?
- Be transparent and facilitate a blame free zone
Being honest from the very start of the conversation will help put others at ease. When we are able to trust and understand that someone has our best interest it puts things into a better perspective. We are more likely to handle the conversation well, even if we end up disagreeing.
- Setup the conversation
Difficult conversations shouldn’t blindside others, where possible we should setup the conversation or set the tone at the start to ensure that we’re all on the same page as early as possible. No one likes to be put on the spot, so providing some context allows us all to gather our thoughts to make the conversation more effective.
- Create the space where ideas, opinions and feelings can be shared.
We should demonstrate empathy and remember the connection we’ve have built with this person. When we have difficult conversations we can end up focusing on the negatives or completely forgetting our emotional connections , remembering these connections are important as it reminds us to add a personal touch to the conversation. Putting a face to the conversation, a personality, a relationship or a friendship (no matter who it is) enables us to demonstrate care first, before diving into the topic of discussion.
- Open to your mindset changing or opinions changing as the conversation flows.
Yes, we’ve started this conversation with a clear agenda and outcome in mind, but also we should be open to the idea or even the possibility that we may learn something new as our conversation progresses. This may even lead to a better outcome in some cases or it might not change anything at all. The take away here is to have an open mind, by doing this we are able to remove a lot of bias from the conversation and demonstrate flexibility which will most definitely help others feel at ease. Ultimately, they will feel supported and be more receptive to the conversation.
- Be Calm
When we’re caught up in difficult conversations or situations it can be easy to let go, and be overcome with emotion. Instead try your best to stay calm and genuine. Showing emotion is important when creating a safe space for others but, in order to keep the conversation meaningful and useful for the individual it is very important to manage our emotions and practice patience.
So if you have any difficult conversations coming up, or if you have been putting one off, have a think about how you can create a healthy environment to hold this conversation. Take some time to consider what your looking to get out of it, set yourself up for success and good luck!
